Parenting Metamorphosis: How Healing Ourselves Can Change the Future for Balkan Children

Last night, I had the honor of attending “Parenting Metamorphosis”, an interactive workshop led by Milica Momčilović Radončić, with the support of Ivana Milano, and I left with one thought that stayed with me long after the event ended:

The work we do on ourselves as adults can completely change the lives of children.

This was not a lecture.

It was exactly what Milica said it would be:

A space for reflection, honesty, and understanding — without judgment and without pressure.

That alone is powerful.

Also, I want to sincerely thank Milica Momčilović Radončić and Ivana Milano for showing such meaningful support to Charity for Balkan Children, and also thank every single person who came, opened their heart, reflected, and created such a safe and honest space.

Why This Workshop Hit So Deep for Me

As many of you know, through my work with Charity for Balkan Children, I spend time in orphanages and children’s institutions across the Balkans.

And one painful truth I keep hearing — directly from staff, caregivers, and sometimes even the children themselves — is this:

Many children in institutional care still have one or both living parents,

In some cases, the parents are unable to care for them.

In other cases, they choose not to.

And in many heartbreaking situations, the deepest wound is not only separation itself…

…it is the repeated disappointment.

A promise to visit on Christmas.

A birthday visit that never happens.

A parent who says, “I’ll come next week,” and never shows up.

Visitation rights that are ignored.

For a child, this is not a “small disappointment.”

It becomes repeated trauma.

It teaches them messages like:

• I am not important.

• I am not lovable.

• People leave.

• Promises don’t matter.

And these are exactly the kinds of inner beliefs Milica touched on so beautifully during the workshop.

The Balkan Messages We Carry

One part that also deeply resonated with everyone in the room was the reflection on the messages many of us grew up hearing in Balkan households:

• Be quiet and endure

• Discipline through force

• Be good, don’t make problems

• What will people say?

These phrases may sound familiar, even normal.

But over time, they shape how we love, react, parent, and even how we see ourselves.

Many adults carry beliefs like:

• I am not enough

• I must earn love

• I cannot show emotions

• I must be perfect

The workshop gently reminded us that many of our reactions today are not because we want to react that way.

They are protective mechanisms we once needed to survive.

That perspective is powerful because it replaces shame with awareness.

Why This Matters for Our Charity Mission

This is where the connection to our charity became so clear for me.

Our mission is not only to support children materially through projects, education, furniture, safe spaces, and direct aid.

It is also about changing cycles.

If workshops like this help parents become more conscious…

If even one parent learns to pause before reacting…

If one adult recognizes their own childhood wound before passing it on…

Then maybe one day fewer children in the Balkans will grow up in institutions.

Maybe fewer children will wait at the window for someone who never comes.

Maybe fewer children will carry abandonment as their first memory of love.

And if that happens, then honestly:

The work of our charity will be less needed in the future.

And that would be one of the most beautiful outcomes possible.

Because real impact is not creating dependency on charity.

Real impact is helping create a world where less charity is needed at all.

The Most Important Takeaway

The closing message of the workshop stayed with me:

You do not need to be perfect. You only need to become more aware.

That is true for parenting.

That is true for healing.

And that is true for community work too.

Healing adults creates safer children.

Safer children create healthier generations.

And healthier generations can transform the future of the Balkans.

That is the long-term vision we believe in at Charity for Balkan Children.

Thank you again to Milica Momčilović Radončić, Ivana, and everyone who showed up with openness and courage.

This is how change begins:

not with perfection,

but with awareness. 🦋💛